Can We Be Body Confident As We Age?

Here's how I became more body positive at 57...

Who is looking at me when the sea is this beautiful!

Wrinkly thighs, concertina hanging skin on inner elbows and floppy earlobes. Oh. Blooming. My!

That was the start of an insta post I was going to write at the beginning of my 11-day holiday in Croatia. 

I’d just unfurled my stomach from the confines of my jeans and plopped the wobbly white ‘gut flap’ into my red bikini. Yes - still a bikini, not because I’m confident about my body, but because I read in a magazine years ago that:

Brown fat looks better than white fat. 

Re the above statement - Wow. What stunning body positivity we were fed as young women back in the 80s and 90s! (I’m being sarcastic - it was so toxic and I will have more to say on this soon.) 

Flipping the switch from negative body image to positive is hard, and I had a post almost ready all about the ugly bits of ageing - but I was going to make it funny (as I often do) just to take the ‘edge’ off it. 

I would talk about the scrotum textured skin that pokes out from costume or bikini straps, the diminishing pubes and flourishing chin hairs, the weird lumps, bumps and splatters of cemetery blossom (brown spots) that adorn my face and body. The negative list is endless.

But the longer the holiday went on, I just didn’t ’feel’ it…the words wouldn’t come. So, no matter how frustrated I was that I haven’t posted in yonks, I decided to just go with the flow and enjoy the holiday. 

Here’s what happened:

• I carried my 20kg case (moaning a bit as it knocked and bruised my legs) up and down steps. If you’ve been on and off ferries and visited Croatia you will know there are LOTS of steps. And I needed no help. 

• I jumped off rocks and swam like a fish in the clear, cold, refreshing sea.

• I pushed myself up onto the rocks to get out of the sea - no need for stairs or a hand up. 

• I laughed with my daughter as I jumped in first and encouraged her to join me by the famous Game of Thrones Pier in front of camera clicking tourists (goodness knows how many of their photos we will be in!) 

• I went make up free with wash-and-go-hair and strode thousands of steps taking in amazing sights. 

And THAT my friends, is the post I wanted to write. 

All of the wonderful things that being healthy and strong as we age benefits us. How grateful and lucky are those of us that can make the most of every experience we have in this short life?

So, that is the story here - not the grey hair, wrinkled skin or ‘woe is me, I don’t like what I see in the mirror.’ Though of course, I’m guilty of this too. 

Somehow, the positive things about my body now far outweighs the negative. Concentrating on what we can do and the joy our body can bring, rather than what it looks like can really improve body confidence and I plan to remember that with each passing year - and each appearing wrinkle.

Isn’t it funny that as soon as I started writing about what is important to me, the words began to flow easily and I had to cut it by at least two paragraphs. Thankfully, we now have Substack!

Our thoughts on our looks as we age can be a real minefield. Body negative or body positive - I’d love to know how you feel about it in the comments - no judgement!