The Dress That Made Me Not Give A Sh*t
A lesson in feeling the fashion fear and wearing it anyway!
Do you worry about being everyone’s cuppa tea? I think one thing that growing older has taught me, is that you’re not for everybody - and it’s okay! As a chronic people pleaser, at first that truth is a hard pill to swallow, but then, it’s actually a relief. You can finally let go of the anxiety of wondering if certain people like you (or worse, trying to make them like you) and you find out who your true people are - and they are the ones you can pour your love and effort into, because they deserve it! 🙌
I love that quote that says, “What people think of you is none of your business.” It’s so true - let them think what they want because you are your own unique brand of fabulousness who doesn’t need anybody else’s validation but yours alone.
Now, I’m going to tell you a story about my recent love affair with a dress. You may think that’s going off piste from the point I was making above - but it actually all boils down to believing in yourself and your choices - whether that be people or dresses.
So, I saw this dress on a few Instagram style accounts over the summer and immediately swooned. Talk about happy dressing! For me, this pattern hit heavy with the dopamine. It encompassed all my favourite things - beachy vibes - lobsters, palm trees and cocktails and clashing brights with flashes of pink, green, red, orange and yellow.
But even better than that - when it arrived, I loved it even more! The unexpectedly perfect fit of it meant I could wear it without a bra on a hot summer evening which hasn’t been a thing for me since circa 1994. Somehow, miracles upon miracles, my boobs were super comfortable and stayed put in a respectable position on my chest. Unlike other spaghetti strap dresses I’ve tried to go sans bra, Pinky and Not-So-Perky didn’t wriggle free and slide down to my stomach as the night wore on. Win!
So, why then, after a ‘fashion show’ where #StressedHusband had to pick the best of 3 outfits (this must be a man’s worse nightmare, no?) and he chose said dress as the winner by a mile, did I seriously think about wearing the 2nd best choice dress?
Well, ok, the 2nd choice was lovely too. I would have had to wear a bra with this one but it had sleeves - pretty ones that fluted out and fluttered as I moved and, to be honest, I felt less self-conscious in it. It was a dress I’ve worn many times - it was a fail-safe. I knew it was pretty, flattering and would get me some compliments but thankfully, it wouldn’t make me feel that all eyes would be on me.
In contrast, The Happy Vibes dress - had more flesh on show - the bits that I’m conscious of - wobbly arms and a crinkly décolletage. Plus, with a trippy pattern that could be seen as a bit of an assault on the eyeballs, I knew I was unlikely to go unnoticed. Love it or hate it, people would have an opinion on it and, if truth be told, I was feeling a bit vulnerable and thought perhaps, I would feel more at ease wearing something a little less ‘showy.’
So, what made me decide to wear Happy Vibes dress in the end? Believe it or not, it was being given a stern talking to by #StressedHusband. As I sauntered happily downstairs in 2nd choice dress he looked aghast. “What? Where’s the other one? I thought you loved it and I thought it looked great on you!” (Wow - compliments from #StressedHusband after 34 years together are quite a rarity. )
I explained I wasn’t keen on my wobbly upper arms and the lines on my chest were beginning to resemble the discarded cellophane wrapper on a Quality Street sweet. He looked at me and shook his head. Then what he said really hit home:
“Lisa, you are 57 years old and you look fantastic. Today, you’re the youngest you will ever be and - unless you go heavy on the beauty treatments and at the gym (which is unlikely) - your chest and arms are in the best shape they will ever be in. The dress is stunning - it suits you so much and I know you love it. If you don’t wear it now, when will you really ever wear it?”
Oh My God. He was so right! It made me sad imagining this vibrant piece of clothing pushed to the back of my wardrobe between the easy wear jeans and t-shirts - a combo that’s my daily go-to. I mean, there’s me - Miss Pro-Age Midlife Supporter - championing 50-plus women to wear and look how they want, to disregard any of those anger inducing ‘age appropriate’ dressing diktats.
I am the first one to shout “YES! Go YOU!” to the midlife women who are strutting down the beach, wearing their favourite gold shorts or bikinis without a care in the world and those women in middle age whose hair is silver and sassy - or pink and punky. I love that! I adore women who wear and live how they want because they like it and it feels good regardless of their size or age.
So, why on earth was I trying to make myself smaller with the ‘safe’ dress?
I know it’s natural to feel a little self-conscious sometimes, but I realised that I was worrying more about what other people would think about how I looked in the dress, rather than wearing it because just looking at it brought me joy (and the excellent boob thing, obvs.)
As you can see from the pictures, I did wear it in the end and, just like not worrying anymore if I’m not everyones cup of tea, I also don’t care if my dress (or me in it) isn’t to everyone’s taste. To me, it’s bubbly, fun, cheery and a little intoxicating - definitely more Moët & Chandon than Tetley’s!
You can find the Happy Vibes Dress here and there are others there I have my eye on too! 👀
I am a Lisa and I am 57 and you just gave me a kick in the pants for
Positivity ❤️❤️
great dress!