Om My! How Meditation is Helping My Menopause Journey.

Photo by Chelsea Gates on Unsplash

If I was a millennial or Gen Z I would say I’m in my Wellness Girly Era, but I’m a 57-year-old who doesn’t want to embarrass her children, so instead I will say – I am Lisa and I am an absolute wellness convert. I’ve started to make a point of including things in my day that make me feel good inside and out regardless of how busy I am. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ‘holier than thou’ and I still enjoy a tipple now and then - and most definitely consume a regular carb. However, I’m talking about welcoming the wellness ‘tools’ that are good for my body and soul.

Coming from a pretty down-to-earth, working-class family, I used to pooh pooh the idea of self-love, taking care of your inner and outer self with kind and considerate actions and habits. It all sounded a bit twee and meek. But now I know that the ‘stop moaning and just get on with it’ attitude I harboured was at best, unhelpful and at worse, pretty toxic.

The world we live in has changed from the tough-it-out 70s and 80s – the decades I grew up in. My daughters’ who have co-founded their amazing self-portrait studio, Candid in Notting Hill which encourages empowering self-love and honouring your authentic self – has been a catalyst in teaching me a thing or two about embracing self-acceptance and being kind to yourself. (Shameless plug here: check out Candid – you can’t help but fall in love with it!)

What is it in particular that I have discovered in the wellness arena that has literally changed my life and my midlife mindset? Apart from daily walks in nature, long, leisurely baths with aromatherapy oils and bubbles, ad-hoc journaling (I want to get into that more), it’s meditation that has become my daily go-to. It has raised my vibe, my energy and my self-esteem.

There are so many positive benefits I get through meditation – one of the biggest has been that it’s really helped me cope better with menopausal symptoms such as mood swings and anxiety. So, what got me into serenity-seeking in the first place?

Always on the lookout for ways to give midlife a little extra help – a glow inside and out – a few years ago I went to a meditation workshop with a good friend. I didn’t think it would be my cup of tea, but I was up for the glass of wine she’d suggested afterwards so thought I’d give it a go. At first, I was a bit worried because this friend and I have been on the verge of being asked to leave exercise classes before due to uncontrollable giggling, and although we’re perfect partners for catching a comedy show or having a good night out, a meditation class? Well, it could’ve been a disaster. We had to promise each other we would act like the proper grown-ups we are and not the 9-year-olds we were when we first met in the playground. We also sat ourselves near the exit so we could make a quick getaway if we had to chant, as we both knew that listening to the other one OM-ing would probably tip us over the edge. Surprisingly enough though, we were very sensible and instead of it being something we joked about, we floated out of the workshop on a cloud of calm serenity.

I was hooked.

Since then, I’ve got into a regular habit of meditating – even when I’m not in the mood. When I have a ‘bad’ meditation – one where the daily minutia spews forth from the brain – it’s ok. I know it’ll be better the next day and it’s the time I take being on my own in peace and quiet for a few minutes which becomes addictive, whatever the outcome.

Now, I’m in no way an expert of meditation matters, but if you wanted to give it a go – and I hope you do – here’s what has worked for me…

5 Meditation tips for those who say they ‘can’t do it.’

Firstly, I shall just preface the tips by saying that yes, you can do it. And for those of you who are shaking your head, here’s a couple of quotes you might like to help change your mind:

"Meditation is not about stopping thoughts but recognising that we are more than our thoughts."
— Jon Kabat-Zinn

"You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour."
— Zen Proverb

I recommend trying just 5 minutes at first, then build up to however long you like.

• The quickest way to relaxation is to stay in the present and the easiest way to be in the present is by focusing on your senses: sight, sound, smell, taste or touch. Research has shown that most adults spend about 55 minutes, in every hour, thinking about the past or the future. By using your senses to the full while in the present, you are inducing calm whereas thinking (about the past or the future) induces anxiety. Take five minutes to listen to the ticking of a clock or the sound of noises in the street, or eat a piece of chocolate and be aware of sensations, smell, taste – how does it feel on your tongue? What is the aftertaste like? Maybe put a drop of your favourite scent onto a tissue and close your eyes, take in the scent, focusing on your breath for a moment or two to calm and still your mind.

• My particular favourite technique which works immediately for me, is positive sighing. Breathe deeply, feeling the expansion of your lower ribs and diaphragm as well as your upper chest. As you breathe out completely, release a sigh softly – not in the exaggerated way you would let out a sigh of frustration – then feel the pause as your abdomen softens until you are ready to breathe again. Try this a few times and as each breath gets deeper than the last, you send messages to the brain that you’re feeling relaxed and calm. I love this as I can do it in the car, or while I’m in the middle of a work deadline, and I can literally feel the stress drain away!

• I also love a bit of boxing. (‘Ooh that’s not very chill’, I hear you say), but it is because I’m being punny - I mean box breathing (ha!) It is so easy and totally effective. Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4 and hold for 4 – then simply do it again. It’s an easy one to start with and gets you in the zen zone.

• Reconnecting with your body during The Body Scan is a wonderful exercise for listening to your body, since we all too often ignore it. You can do this sitting up in a chair or sitting or lying on the floor. Systematically focus on each muscle area of your body, starting with your scalp and continuing down your face to your forehead, temples, eyes, jaw, mouth. Continue through your neck and shoulders, upper, middle and lower back and now through your arms to your hands. Extend focus through your chest, abdomen, pelvic area, thighs, knees, calves and feet. At each point, if you feel tension during the scan, take a slow breath and visualise the muscles in the particular area relaxing and releasing tension.

• If you still don’t know where to start, download an app – although I often meditate without a guide or music, I still enjoy using Calm and Insight Timer. YouTube also has a huge selection of great meditations to assist you with whatever you’re looking for, whether that be switching off, easing anxiety or motivation. I’ve also discovered that I have to like the voices and resonate with the Guide; else it can be off-putting. I tried to stick a 15-minute meditation with a particularly slow talking teacher, but by the 5-minute mark, I was more stressed than when I started, so make sure you ‘connect’ to get the most out of the practice.

So, do you already enjoy regular meditation - or are thinking of giving it a go? It may not be a miracle cure, but it's definitely been a calming influence for me during this bumpy ride called menopause. It’s basically all about finding those few precious moments of peace in a chaotic day and knowing that self-care isn’t selfish—it's essential. Whether you’re dealing with hot flushes, mood swings, or just the daily grind, I hope you give meditation a try. You might just find, like I did, that a few deep breaths can go a long way towards a calmer, more joyful life. And, think about it -  if it works for a former sceptic like me, there’s hope for everyone!